I am not patient. I am not patient driving. I am not patient waiting for my future. I want everything now and I want to know what to expect. Well, most of the time. I do like some spontaneity, but only the kind I agree to and plan, so is it really spontaneous? I have been sitting here for the last few hours waiting and waiting and I do a lot of that-- I wait and watch the clock, whether it be for it to speed up or slow down I feel like sometimes I am never content with where I am. Wouldn't life be so much easier if it actually did work on a remote control, like that awful movie Click that had Adam Sandler in it ( not your best work buddy). But really it would probably be a disaster if we each had that power and the world would be all kinds of whack. I'm just being a typical human and wishing I could control something that I have no business in trying to control and isn't meant to be controlled. Time waits for no man. It doesn't have favorites, not by race, or gender, or plumpness, or prettiness. Time doesn't discriminate and it ignores no one. It reaches us all at the worst possible times when were yelling, "Please, wait!! I'm not ready to move on" and the others when were pleading, "Hurry up, hurry up! I can't take this anymore" or "I want to make this moment last forever", "I want to always remember the way he smiles", "I don't want everything to change", "Speed up because I want to move on from this pain" "I want to erase the bad times and let time take away their sting", and the ultimate, "I need more time". We always somehow end up needing more time, and it will be like that for everyone.
Constantly and daily were all just talking to clocks driving ourselves mad waiting for the next moment which leaves us either wanting more time, bored, or disappointed. Time. Time. Its always been on my mind since I was tiny. I was always waiting until I would be older until I could finally be seen as an adult, counting down my childhood. Now all I want it to do is stop, but I bet you all saw that one coming. I am not patient. I do not like time. But I have to respect it because, well, its always fair and we've had too long a history. We've gotten each other through too much. I just wish we could be more friendly, that I could take ahold of it and squeeze it for all its got. That it wouldn't make me freak out and worry or scare me half to death, that it wouldn't be like a screaming little infant always begging to be paid attention to and I'm going crazy trying to make it happy. Always, constantly worrying and thinking about it. I don't want it to lock me down, I want it to bring me alive. I want it to wake me up. I'm so young, but I feel so old and I feel like that feeling will only get worse. I know I have endless possibilities for my future, I know I have so many opportunities, but instead of making me hope and feel alive, sometimes the time is just overwhelming. It feels like I am being swallowed up and I just want to know so bad what my future holds. I want to have all the answers. I want to know right now and I want to know what I need to do. I don't want a plan, I want the plan. I'm impatient. Time is simply another enemy to me right now and I wish it didn't feel that way, like I am always on a clock. Like I never have enough time. Like time is never going fast enough. It has me captured and locked down and I am under it's spell. I want to break that spell. I want to be released. I want to be free. I want to stop thinking about the clock. I want to be patient. I want to experience everything and enjoy my time. I want to be friends. Can we just be friends, dear ole time?
Constantly and daily were all just talking to clocks driving ourselves mad waiting for the next moment which leaves us either wanting more time, bored, or disappointed. Time. Time. Its always been on my mind since I was tiny. I was always waiting until I would be older until I could finally be seen as an adult, counting down my childhood. Now all I want it to do is stop, but I bet you all saw that one coming. I am not patient. I do not like time. But I have to respect it because, well, its always fair and we've had too long a history. We've gotten each other through too much. I just wish we could be more friendly, that I could take ahold of it and squeeze it for all its got. That it wouldn't make me freak out and worry or scare me half to death, that it wouldn't be like a screaming little infant always begging to be paid attention to and I'm going crazy trying to make it happy. Always, constantly worrying and thinking about it. I don't want it to lock me down, I want it to bring me alive. I want it to wake me up. I'm so young, but I feel so old and I feel like that feeling will only get worse. I know I have endless possibilities for my future, I know I have so many opportunities, but instead of making me hope and feel alive, sometimes the time is just overwhelming. It feels like I am being swallowed up and I just want to know so bad what my future holds. I want to have all the answers. I want to know right now and I want to know what I need to do. I don't want a plan, I want the plan. I'm impatient. Time is simply another enemy to me right now and I wish it didn't feel that way, like I am always on a clock. Like I never have enough time. Like time is never going fast enough. It has me captured and locked down and I am under it's spell. I want to break that spell. I want to be released. I want to be free. I want to stop thinking about the clock. I want to be patient. I want to experience everything and enjoy my time. I want to be friends. Can we just be friends, dear ole time?
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